the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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