addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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