But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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