I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
