Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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