I hope my margaritas pass through security.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
