You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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