He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just shotgunned beers for America
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
