uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
