yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
