They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Randomize
