the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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