I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
