Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
