I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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