Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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