and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
