I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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