I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize