No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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