what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
