stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
