IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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