It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
