so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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