Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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