we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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