I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
