I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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