I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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