"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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