you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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