I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
