doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's never too late to be topless.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The Olympian is in my bed
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