we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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