Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
