Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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