He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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