Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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