Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
