dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
