But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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