I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
