Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
