I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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