the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
splinters make it hard to masturbate
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
