Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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