what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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