Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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