sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he shaved USA in his pubs
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
