you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
