theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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