Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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