his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
