wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
