12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
