dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize