4 words: hood of his car
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
