Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
