I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
