His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
