hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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